Wednesday, April 29, 2009

My new soundtrack for life: Queen's "Under Pressure"

I think I need to implement a morning check list, to avoid any more mornings of abandoning the car pool because I've left something major at home. (So far, I've at least always been fully dressed, so that's good.)

Why so forgetful of late? I've been under a lot of pressure lately. (That's a Queen song you're hearing in your head, not Vanilla Ice.) First, there was that major project that had to be finished two weeks ago. There's a bit more to the project that will be finished this afternoon. So that's one thing down.

But more importantly, my biggest case ever is in full go mode right now. It's the sort of case that you feel you'll never get through. No matter how much work I do on it, I still feel like there's that much more work to be done. I've been thinking about or working on this case all day, every day. I've skipped family birthdays. I've skipped knitting club. I've deeply disappointed my dog. I haven't eaten very well, I haven't slept well, and I haven't gotten any exercise in. I'm so in the middle of it right now that I can't see an end. I can't even find the tunnel, let alone see any light at the end of it. The phrase "soul-crushing" has sprung to mind more than once in the past few weeks. I'm a little excited that I found 10 minutes to sit quietly on my couch this morning, but I'm still thinking about all the better ways I could be using these spare minutes. (Maddie is looking at me reproachfully; I think I know how she thinks I should be using this time.)

Even after this case is over, it will probably take me a while to normalize. There will be all the other work that hasn't even been looked at to address. But sometime around July, I might just be leveling back out. Here's hoping I make it until then.

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