Martini Night

Every town has its own drink special, going out night. In this town, it's martini night on Thursdays. There are several bars that offer cheap martinis on Thursdays, but if you're going to martini night, you're going to the downtown hotel bar. I first went to martini night 3 or 4 years ago, but over the past two years, I have become a regular.

Tonight, though, it became clear that I have gone beyond mere regular status. I have reached "Norm" status where I have a particular table that is set aside for me. I made a reservation for tonight, but I did not specifically request table 10. It was set aside for me, though. As it was two weeks ago. As it is for one week from tonight. And, apparently, for any Thursday night from here on out that I reserve a table. I have become that person, the customer who is such a regular, she gets whatever she wants, whether she asks for it or not.

After the last two years that I have lived through, it is kind of nice to know that the Eldridge always wants me. I am beyond heartbroken and will undoubtedly never be able to love or trust anyone again. And, who are we kidding, no one is trying to love me, anyway. (Probably because I am broken beyond repair...)

But at least my bar wants me. Every Thursday. And broken and unlovable and unable to trust as I am, at least I can love martini night.