Taylor Swift is really just a sweet, young, hopeful, naive girl with Princess dreams. And now, thanks to the pre-teen girl crowd and a bunch of songs that are catchy, even if they're rather simplistic and not all that well sung, she has Princess money, too. So soon, she will have her very own Princess castle. And in true blond, long-locked Princess fashion, that castle will be up in a tower. (Why is Rapunzel always blond?)
She's renovating her luxury penthouse in a luxury apartment building in Nashville and it seems she shares her decorating sense with her pre-teen fans. She's installing a human-sized birdcage that you get to by climbing up a spiral staircase that sits in the moat pond that surrounds the fireplace. Inside the pond will be the stepping stone to the fireplace. I'm not making this up, but I won't be said if Yahoo! music news did. It sounds kind of like she expects the accessories to dance, the animals to talk, and the Persian carpets to fly.
Taylor, here is my offer to you. You're a grown-up woman with grown-up cash and you deserve a grown-up Princess castle. For the tiny, small, miniscule, wee fee of $1 million, I will decorate your home for you. I will make it tasteful and elegant and chic and age-appropriate and truly fit for a real, life, 21st century princess. But the moat and the birdcage have to go. Deal?
UPDATE: Ok, you can keep the birdcage, but only if you cage John Mayer and keep him there until he learns to be less of a dog when it comes to women.