Saturday, March 29, 2014


The movie "Double Jeopardy" is the dumbest concept ever.

Ashley Judd spends years in prison, having been convicted of murdering her husband. While in prison, she comes to realize that her rat bastard, cheating husband actually faked his death and framed her for murder. So she vows to go after him when she is released and kill him for real this time. After all, she's already been convicted of murder and served a sentence. And we all know the Constitution guarantees no defendant can be convicted and sentenced for the same crime twice.

Every time I channel surf and see this movie on, my criminal-law-lovin' soul dies a little. The whole idea is just so ridiculous. Make your movie about a revenge-seeking, wronged wife all you want. Have her vow to get that rat of an ex and take her son back. But don't tell the audience that she knows she can't be tried for the same crime twice, so she knows she can go after him and kill him now. And don't call it Double Jeopardy.

You all do know that the actual Constitutional guarantee against double jeopardy doesn't work that way, right? If you are wrongfully convicted for killing someone who isn't actually dead, that doesn't give you license to now go kill that person. Commit a premeditated, intentional killing and you will always, always be chargeable, regardless of your criminal history (by which I mean, regardless of how many times that victim has faked his death and pinned it on you).

Deep down, I think the movie knows Ashley Judd's character wasn't, in fact, free to murder her hubby. Hence, [spoiler alert] in the end, his demise is a clear-cut case of justifiable homicide as hubby is about to kill the plucky parole officer (Tommy Lee Jones) who started out trying to catch Judd (who is in clear violation of her parole by traveling the country and having a gun, all with murder on her mind) but has come to be on her side as following her leads him to the truth. So they never really got to test that crazy interpretation of double jeopardy as there's not gonna be a murder charge.

The bottom line is this: there is no such thing as a free pass to commit intentional, premeditated murder. And the entertainment industry regularly bastardizes the law in a way that makes me nuts.*


*don't even get me started on how that dumb law show on Lifetime I hate myself for watching (even on a lazy Saturday when it's too cold to wander outside) totally bastardized one of the most known-to-all-criminal-lawyers cases ever.

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