Ok, let's think of quick ways to get giant piles of cash. (That do not involve poles and wide expanses of uncovered skin...)
I did not win the powerball, so that's out for this week.
I could enter the Sonic Slam contest and win $25,000 when a Royal hits a grand slam in the bottom of the 6th inning... (No, I was not able to type that with a straight face because the odds of a Royal hitting a home run are worse than the odds of me winning the powerball.)
Hmm, there's walking out in front of a Rolls Royce or other luxury car.
I could sell all my books, DVDS, shoes, and dresses, but then what's the point of life.
I could sell a kidney.
I'm not really feeling any of these. That settles it. I need a book deal. Today. With a healthy advance. To pay for important "research," like a new car and a rebuilt retaining wall...