Preaching to the choir

It's depressing to be a public defender right now. It's always an ongoing battle to be adequately supported, but it never seems to get any better. Our case loads always remain too high so we can't work on any of our cases as thoroughly as we really should to provide the best representation we can. Which is all just fine since we are underfunded, so we can't afford to do the work we don't have time to do. Finding experts and really challenging the state's forensic evidence takes the two things we don't have: time and money. So it just doesn't get done.

And that makes the job of the appellate attorneys easier because there will be fewer issues to brief since motions weren't filed and objections weren't made. Which saves more money for the taxpayers because then those issues will just never take up the time of any court or any court-appointed attorney since defendants are only entitled to counsel at trial and on direct appeal. If those attorneys don't raise an issue, defendants are just screwed unless they can come up with the resources to at least start an ineffective assistance of counsel (IAC) claim on their own. If they can write a persuasive enough IAC motion, they get more free counsel, but how often does that really happen? Definitely in capital cases, but not so much in the lesser cases.

At times, the monumental obstacles facing public defenders overwhelms me. I can't face it, so I just want to go hide under a pile of coats. I threaten to cry. I threaten to chuck it all and go to Vegas to be a go-go dancer. I can't ever really do it, though, because I just am a public defender. I couldn't change that anymore than I could change my skin color or sexual orientation. The worst part is having to watch as other public defenders simply accept the situation without even caring anymore. Some just sigh, or can't even muster the energy for that sigh. They just continue on processing cases, without noticing or caring that the 6th Amendment is dying. They have to know they aren't being allowed to fulfill their ethical obligations to their clients and they also have to know that they have given up fighting against the inequities.

I see those pds and I think, "Thank goodness I am this depressed!" Being this depressed is no fun, but I'd take it in a heartbeat over not caring anymore. 'Cause I really don't want to move to Vegas.