Dear Mr. Bates (and all other men in your position):
There is nothing gallant or noble or honorable or good about declaring that you will kill your wife's (girlfriend's, mother's, sister's, etc.) rapist. Quite the contrary, in fact.
To put it bluntly, it's a dick move. Actually following through on your declaration and committing murder is even worse.
Someone seriously needs to shake Mr. Bates and any man who thinks like he does. It certainly does not help your wife that she won't even tell you she was raped because she's so certain you will kill a man and be sentenced to death for it. Nor will it help her for you to actually get sentenced to death. You're doing a heck of a job looking out for her by insisting on doing something that will only cause her more suffering.
I used to like you a lot, Mr. Bates. But right now, I just think you're a dick. A big, jerky stubborn ass.