Split Hair Sarah, that's me

Have I ever told you what my childhood nickname was? Split Hair Sarah. I have always been a particular person. I like to be precise with my language. I have always kept a dictionary nearby so that when I question which one of two words is a better choice, I can make the best choice possible. (So how happy am I to have a smart phone complete with the dictionary app?) I suspect I was a bit of a nightmare for my parents when they were the least bit loose with their words.

I am kind of a stickler for the rules. I think form matters. I want things to be done right. It is important for things to be done right. Some people find my stickler-ness to be annoying. (I find those people to be annoying.)

This quality of mine makes me uniquely qualified to be a defense attorney. When it is necessary to argue that a particular rule wasn't followed to a T or that the use of the word "any" makes a statute mean something different than it would if the legislature had used the word "a," I'm your woman. I will make those arguments with a completely straight face and I will convince people in the way that only people who truly believe what they're arguing can convince people.

But where I fall down is when there are cases that I'm not involved in that don't go right. I read the stories in the paper or watch the news coverage and see the ways in which other lawyers messed up. And I go a little bit nuts. I want to fix everything. I want everything to be precise and correct and 100% accurate. It makes me absolutely crazy when things aren't quite right. Even in ways that no one else perceives as being wrong. I am and will always be Split Hair Sarah. And I need things to be totally and completely correct.

Why, why, why don't all the other lawyers people in the world care as much as I do?