Preaching to the choir

Sometimes, courts just really piss me off. I mean, they can do some awful, result-oriented, intellectually dishonest things. Like today, something unbelievably unjust was done (which the general public thinks was a great justice, adding to my burning rage). But I'm not really allowed to let the world know the full extent of my outrage. I can run around my office yelling, swearing, and gesturing madly in a vain effort to burn off some frustration. But the next time I see the court, I can't tell them off. (Sometimes, they definitely need a good telling off!)

I am expected always to be respectful to all judges in all settings. Even if I see a judge who everyone agrees is discourteous from the bench, lacks any sense of decorum, and blatantly disregards the law, I'm still supposed to keep a smile on my face and say, "Thank you, judge." I could face contempt or even potentially an ethical complaint for snapping, yelling, or doing what I really want (which could involve lots of swear words and thrown objects).

Well, that's just not me. I've never been good at kissing ass. I'm loud and opinionated and I don't defer to anyone else. I'm always right so I'm not good at accepting authority figures who do not do things the way I believe they should. So having to bite my tongue when I'm really fucking angry about a judicial decision is a struggle for me. I desperately want to get up on a rooftop and shout it out everywhere that the court royally fucked up and did a tremendous injustice. But I also kind of want to keep my law license and keep the illusion with judges that I'm a nice, respectful lawyer. So I'll refrain from writing about the situation on message boards and from telling every passing stranger on the street how much the court sucks. I'll just have to be satisfied with my ranting to my choir of co-workers. And the next time I appear in court, I will put on my best docile, respectful smile and say, "Yes, judge. Thank you, judge." But I'll be seething on the inside. And maybe I'll break out the voodoo kit when I get back to my office.

I'm gonna just let this go now and watch the finale of Project Runway. Go Jillian!